Arizona Wildcat Basketball Rumors

Pink Balls

guert — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:36:50 +0000

According to NCAA by-law statute 64.41.244.12-9er, in the year 2010 all regulation basketballs will be changed from orange to pink. However this rule will not be enforceable due to a court order from the honorable Judge Judy. Balls!

David Bagga To Buy Rights to Chuck Norris Quotes

guert — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:48:34 +0000

Have you ever heard of a Chuck Norris Push-up? You know, “when Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down”. Pretty amazing. Well according to a completely contrived source, former Arizona Basketball star, David Bagga will be purchasing the rights to Chuck Norris and all of his “quotes” for an unnamed sum of cash. From now on it will be David Bagga pushing the Earth down with his one-armed push-ups instead of Mr. Norris…

We Talkin’ About Practice

guert — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:07:36 +0000

Apparently Allen Iverson Owns The NCAA because teams are not allowed to practice fully until October, a mere month before the start of the season. “We Talkin’ About Practice…”

Expect National Championships

guert — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:13:30 +0000

Now that Sean Miller is the head Coach of the Arizona Basketball Program, Fans can and should expect a National Championship every year. It was much the same under Coach Lute Olson. The Legacy that Coach O built will live on. Props to Lute. Props to Miller. Props to Arizona Basketball. National Champs!

‘Cats Dunk on LeBron

guert — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:46:52 +0000

Hey if a fifth grader can dunk on LeBron James, then so can anyone. It is rumored that LeBron will be visiting various college campuses during the NBA off-season to get dunked on. One of them might be Arizona. Nice Wise will sky over Mr. James and slam it good and tomahawk-like. Hassan Adams will get his too. And Jamelle Horne. And Kyle Fogg.

Who Let The Dogs Out?

guert — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:54:45 +0000

Apparently nobody let the dogs out. But someone might have let the cat out of the bag. It’s possible. Nobody knows for sure. But a real Wildcat could be used for halftime shows. Stay tuned.

Space Ball

guert — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:30:54 +0000

It is rumored that the Arizona Wildcat Basketball Team will be the first team to play in space. That’s right, out of this world! The other team might be Kansas or Gonzaga. The game could possibly be played on a space station orbiting the Earth. It is unclear at this time however if the NCAA will sanction such an event, not to mention the extensive training that is involved in space flight preparation.

Urkel

guert — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:57:32 +0000

Ninja Ball ‘Cats

guert — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:22:54 +0000

An unconfirmed source has led some to believe that the Arizona Basketball Team’s uniforms will be changing once again next season. Originally it was thought that the ‘Cats would wear more of a throw-back nut-hugger style of uniform. Now the consensus seems to be that the Team will be wearing ninja outfits. White for home games and blue for away games.

Ants in Your Pants

guert — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 06:48:17 +0000

According to an unspecified report from an anonymous reporter, Texas Fire Ants will be shipped into McKale Center to be put on the opposing player’s benches. There is no NCAA rule that prohibits this (at least not yet). Some think it’s a good move and others are afraid the fire ants may spread into the first few rows directly behind the visiting player’s benches. One thing is for sure and that is it’s very hard to make plays and keep your concentration when you’ve got ants in your pants.